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Impotence – talk about it.

Impotence or erectile dysfunction as it is medically referred to is a male sexual problem that may affect your relationship.

Impotence can be embarrassing for men to deal with and you may find that your partner is affected emotionally if he is unable to fulfill your needs, he might even avoid any intimate contact.It is vital that you communicate openly with each other over his problems so that your relationship stays strong and does not suffer under the stress which can be caused by this condition.

Lovelifematters provides you with information on conversation techniques as well as sources of professional help. Erectile dysfunction can usually be treated and seeking help for impotence could bring you closer together.

Once your partner begins to talk about the problem and overcome the initial embarrassment and fear he may begin to feel comfortable enough to seek advice and treatment.

erection loss Is it my fault?

'Is it my fault?'

© Julia Cole, Sex therapist and relationship counsellor

It's very common for women to blame themselves when a partner suffers
from problems in achieving or maintaining an erection. You may feel that
there's something wrong with your lovemaking technique or that your
partner doesn't find you attractive any more.

Many women also worry that their partner is having an affair or wants to end the relationship.   The truth is that although you may experience these feelings and thoughts, it's unlikely that an erection problem is caused by a loss of interest in you, or a desire to end a relationship.  

Remember, in most men with ED, there will be an underlying physical illness.

Disease warning

If your partner regularly suffers erection loss, he should be checked out by his GP as an erection problem can be an indicator of illnesses such as diabetes or heart disease.
“Try explaining that you are worried the ED may be connected to your relationship and how he feels about you”

Telling his GP about his erection problem will help to identify and address any underlying illness. It is better to act fast as many health problems left untreated can be harder to remedy. His GP will also be able to provide further advice about the 10 or more different treatments now available for his ED.

Watch out for a gradual loss of erections over an extended period, as this is more likely to be an indicator of illness. A rapid loss of erection (for example, on just one occasion) is more likely to be linked to emotional concerns. But a visit to his GP can put your mind at rest on both these counts.  


Tiredness and overindulgence

If your partner has been working hard and trying to meet deadlines, the tiredness and worry can cause problems in focusing on lovemaking. When this happens, stimulation during foreplay will not cause or sustain an erection. This can explain the occasional loss of erection, which nearly all men suffer from at some time during their life.

Another cause of temporary erection loss can be overindulgence in alcohol. If your man loses his erection during lovemaking, it is crucial to understand what’s really going on. Comfort him and avoid making accusations about his loss of interest in you, or that he is having an affair, as this will only make things worse.

Sometimes a simple rest before attempting sex again is all that is needed, but if he still finds it difficult to achieve an erection, just offer a cuddle and reassurance that you care about him before thinking about how you might want to talk about it with him if the problem persists.


Stressed out?

If you are experiencing problems in your relationship - frequent arguments, problems with children, money worries or other difficulties - it is possible that your partner's erection loss could be connected to these. Emotional problems can lead to erection difficulties because trust or an intimate sense of connection to a partner is compromised.

Taking action to resolve these issues can help to address erection difficulties when the primary cause is not a physical one. Once you take the first step to deal with these issues, the chances are that the erection problem may improve.

Your self-esteem

“It is better to act fast as many health problems left untreated can be harder to remedy”
Lastly, if you are worried about whether your partner still finds you attractive, try improving your own sense of self-esteem. Eat healthily, exercise regularly at something you enjoy and make time to relax.

If you feel good about yourself, your lovelife will also feel positive, whether you are coping with an erection problem caused by an illness or stress, or have no sexual problems at all.

© 2007 Lilly

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